i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
