Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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