I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
