Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
