i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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