i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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