Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
