And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
