Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I deserve this hangover.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
