Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
