weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
