She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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