You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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