I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
