Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
