We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
