Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
