Already got asked if we're dating
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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