and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
