I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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