with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
