FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
