No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
