Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize