he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
