I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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