i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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