i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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