we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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