Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
