Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
