he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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