The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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