I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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