Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
