I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
