Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize