school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
