New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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