The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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