Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

This is not my ceiling

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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(253): View more from Washington

Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

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(817): View more from Texas

Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'

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(757): View more from Virginia

Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.

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(740): View more from Ohio

You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!

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