okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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