you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
