Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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