You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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