I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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