Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
