hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
