You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He shit in the fireplace
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
