Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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