Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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