hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm too high and old for this...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
