after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
