Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
