and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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